Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
sex in a hospital.. check
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
