The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
