just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
