I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
