I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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