But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
