This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
