I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
