Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
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He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
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She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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