I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
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Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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