dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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