Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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