Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just threw up on my dentist
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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