I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
