We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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