Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize