i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
