Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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