OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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