it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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