I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize