did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
