i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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