How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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