Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
