Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
