No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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