so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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