i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
