Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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