would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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