You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
