dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
