I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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