i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize