hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Success! We fucked roommates!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
