So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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