I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
