It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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