i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
do herpes really smell.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
