just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
