Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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