We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
