i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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