whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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