Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
