I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize