dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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