Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
