plz talk dirty to me
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
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I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
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Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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