it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
