this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
