shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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