I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
