I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
