my mouth tastes like poor choices
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
