id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
