he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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