I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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