We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
