have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
