Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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